A Literary Prescription for

Trust

For learning to rely on someone again, or on yourself, after either has let you down.

Trust is not a single decision but a habit, rebuilt one small kept promise at a time, whether the person you are rebuilding it with is someone else or the version of you that used to make better calls. The books, poems, and words gathered here are for that slow rebuilding, and for the particular vulnerability of choosing to rely on something again before you have any proof it will hold.

Books Poetry Quotes & Prose
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
Ernest Hemingway

Books

Prescribed reading

Books on rebuilding what got broken.

01

Hold Me Tight

Dr. Sue Johnson · 2008

Johnson, the originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, argues that most relationship conflict is really a protest against disconnection, a fight to re-establish trust rather than a fight about the dishes. Her seven conversations are designed to rebuild the felt safety that makes trusting someone else possible again.

02

Getting the Love You Want

Harville Hendrix · 1988

Hendrix’s now-classic Imago framework suggests we unconsciously choose partners who can reopen our oldest wounds, not as bad luck but as an opportunity to finally heal them. It is a useful, if challenging, lens for understanding why trust feels harder to extend in some relationships than others.

03

Trust Yourself

Melody Wilding · 2021

Wilding writes for the “sensitive striver” who has plenty of external success but a quiet, persistent inability to believe their own judgement. Her focus is self-trust specifically, the kind that has nothing to do with anyone else letting you down and everything to do with learning to take your own read on a situation seriously.

04

The Girl on the Train

Paula Hawkins · 2015

Hawkins’s thriller is narrated by an unreliable witness to her own life, which makes it a sly, gripping exploration of how hard it is to trust your own perception when memory, alcohol, and other people’s versions of events keep contradicting it. Fiction, but a sharp reminder of how disorienting eroded self-trust actually feels.

Poetry

For when prose is not enough

Poems on the leap, and what makes it worth taking.

Sonnet 116 (extract)

William Shakespeare, 1609

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds...
O, no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.

Shakespeare defines trustworthy love by what it refuses to do when conditions change — bend, alter, disappear at the first sign of difficulty. It is a useful, demanding standard to hold both other people and yourself to.

“How Do I Love Thee?” (Sonnet 43)

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1850

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
...I shall but love thee better after death.

Browning wrote this in secret during a courtship her own father had forbidden, which makes her certainty all the more striking — trust extended in defiance of every external reason for caution. It is a useful counterweight for anyone who has been told their trust is naive.

“The Spider and the Fly” (extract)

Mary Howitt, 1829

“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the spider to the fly,
“’Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy.”
...“Oh no, no!” said the little fly, “to ask me is in vain.”

A children’s cautionary tale, but a genuinely useful one for adults too — about recognising flattery designed to lower your guard, and trusting your own hesitation even when someone is working hard to talk you out of it.

Quotes & Prose

Lines to keep

For extending it again, carefully.

He who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Lao Tzu

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.

Frank Crane

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

Ernest Hemingway

Trusting yourself again does not require forgetting what taught you to be careful. It only requires deciding you are allowed to try.

Georgia Clare

From Georgia

Pause here, if you need to

A short practice for sitting with trust, whenever you need somewhere to land.

Fear Or Intuition? Learning To Trust Your Inner Yes

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