A Literary Prescription for

Marriage

For the long, ordinary, extraordinary work of choosing one person, and choosing them again.

Marriage is not one grand love story but a thousand small ones: the shared jokes, the difficult weeks, the choosing of each other again on unremarkable Tuesdays. It asks more of us than falling in love ever did, and gives more too. Whether yours is new, weathered, thriving or tender, there is deep wisdom to be found in those who have studied it and those who have written it. These books and poems are for the long, quiet art of loving one person well.

Books Poetry Quotes & Prose

Books

Prescribed reading

Some of these are wise, practical guides from those who have studied marriage closely, and some are novels that show it from the inside, its friendship, its difficulty, its depth. Non-fiction and fiction together, they share one grounded truth: that a lasting marriage is not found but built, patiently and imperfectly, over a whole life.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

John Gottman · 1999

Built on decades of watching real couples in his ‘love lab’, Gottman’s classic is the most trusted guide to what actually keeps a marriage strong, and what quietly erodes it. Practical, warm and grounded in science, it hands you real tools rather than platitudes. If you read one book on marriage, this is the one.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage

Eli Finkel · 2017

Finkel explains how our expectations of marriage have soared, we now ask a spouse to be lover, best friend and soulmate all at once, and how to meet those expectations wisely. Illuminating and non-judgemental, it helps you understand the pressures on modern love. A clarifying read for any couple trying to give each other enough, without asking for everything.

Gift from the Sea

Anne Morrow Lindbergh · 1955

On a quiet beach, Lindbergh reflects on love, marriage, solitude and the changing seasons of a shared life, using shells as her gentle guides. Timeless and beautifully written, it speaks with rare honesty about how a marriage breathes and deepens over decades. A small, wise book to return to at every stage of a long relationship.

Crossing to Safety

Wallace Stegner · 1987

Stegner’s luminous final novel follows two married couples across a lifetime of friendship, ambition and quiet devotion. Nothing dramatic happens, and everything does: it is simply one of the most beautiful portraits of marriage and lasting love ever written. A profound, unhurried book for anyone who values the long faithfulness of ordinary life.

Fates and Furies

Lauren Groff · 2015

Groff tells the story of one marriage twice, first from the husband’s view, then the wife’s, revealing how differently two people can experience the same shared life. Dazzling and psychologically acute, it is a gripping meditation on how much of a marriage stays hidden. A brilliant read for anyone curious about the secret inner life of a couple.

Middlemarch

George Eliot · 1871

Eliot’s great novel contains some of the wisest writing on marriage in English literature, tracing several unions and the slow, humbling education each partner receives. Rich, humane and endlessly perceptive, it understands both the disappointments and the quiet heroisms of married life. A masterpiece that rewards anyone thinking seriously about love and commitment.

Poems about marriage

For two made one

from “Married Love”

Guan Daosheng, c.1300

You and I have so much love,
That it burns like a fire,
In which we bake a lump of clay
Moulded into a figure of you
And a figure of me.
…I shall be in your clay,
You shall be in mine.

Written seven centuries ago by one of China’s great women artists to her husband, this is one of the loveliest images of marriage ever made: two people so joined that, remoulded, each carries the other inside them. Tender and startlingly modern, it says in a few lines what marriage takes a lifetime to live. A treasure from a rarely heard voice.

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from “To My Dear and Loving Husband”

Anne Bradstreet, 1678

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
…I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.

Bradstreet, the first published poet of colonial America, wrote this ardent tribute to her husband three centuries ago, and its plain, full-hearted devotion has never dated. It is marriage at its most unguarded and sure. A wonderful poem to read to a long-loved partner, or to keep for the days you need reminding what you have.

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from “My True-Love Hath My Heart”

Sir Philip Sidney, 1590

My true-love hath my heart, and I have his,
By just exchange one for the other given:
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss,
There never was a better bargain driven.

Sidney’s Elizabethan lyric captures the sweet arithmetic of a good marriage: each has given the other their heart, and both are the richer for it. Playful and utterly sincere, it makes commitment sound like the best deal either could have struck. A charming, courtly little poem about the deep security of belonging to each other.

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Quotes & Prose

Quotes about marriage to keep

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

Dave Meurer

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The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.

Robert C. Dodds

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Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.

Simone Signoret

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A marriage is not one long love story, but a thousand small ones, chosen and rechosen on ordinary days.

Georgia Clare

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From Georgia

Turning towards each other

A gentle practice for noticing and appreciating the person beside you, and an essay on the quiet habit that quietly deepens every close relationship.

A Gratitude Meditation

Guided meditation by Georgia Clare

A guided practice for turning your attention, warmly, to all there is to be grateful for in the person you share your life with.

Listen Now For Free

How a Gratitude Journal Changed My Life

Personal essay by Georgia Clare · The Library

On the steadying practice of noticing what is good, and how a little daily gratitude can quietly transform how you see the person you share your life with.

Read the Essay →

The 21-Day Meditation Course

Guided Meditation Course · Georgia Clare

Three weeks of short, guided meditations to help you build a calm, steady daily practice, one day at a time.

Start the 21-Day Course →

The Inner Peace Toolkit

Digital Self-Care Toolkit · Georgia Clare

2 guided meditations, an Inner Peace Journal, an affirmations eBook, 10 printable affirmation prints and 10 calming phone wallpapers — small daily practices to come back to whenever you need to slow down and reconnect with yourself.

Explore the Toolkit →

Questions people ask

Reading for Marriage

Where should I start?

Start with The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, the most trusted, evidence-based guide there is, built on decades of studying what actually keeps couples together. And if you would rather a story, Crossing to Safety is one of the most beautiful novels ever written about the long friendship of marriage. The poems below are worth reading aloud to the person beside you.

What can I read to strengthen my marriage?

Both wisdom and story. The All-or-Nothing Marriage explains how expectations of modern marriage have changed and how to meet them, and Gift from the Sea is a tender meditation on love, solitude and the seasons of a shared life. The novels here, from Fates and Furies to Middlemarch, show marriage from the inside, in all its difficulty and depth. Or begin with the poems below.

Which quotes about marriage are worth keeping?

Quotes worth keeping include “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” (Mignon McLaughlin), “A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” (Dave Meurer) and “Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry). You will find these and more above.

Can reading really help my marriage?

It genuinely can. The research-based books hand you real, practical ways to communicate, repair and stay close, tools couples use to good effect every day. And the great marriage novels do something quieter: they let you see your own relationship with more understanding and tenderness, and remind you that every lasting love is a work in progress. These are books to grow a marriage with, together or alone.

Marriage

Prescribed reading

For two made one

Quotes about marriage to keep

Turning towards each other

Reading for Marriage

Where should I start?

What can I read to strengthen my marriage?

Which quotes about marriage are worth keeping?

Can reading really help my marriage?

More prescriptions await.