A Literary Prescription for

Intimacy

For the tender, brave work of being truly seen, and letting another soul come close.

Intimacy is one of the deepest human needs and one of the most quietly frightening. To be truly close to another person means being seen as you really are, flaws and fears and all, and trusting that you will be held anyway. It asks for a kind of courage we rarely name. Yet it is where our loneliness ends and our truest belonging begins. These books and poems are for that tender, vulnerable work: of dropping the armour, of being known, and of letting another soul come close.

Books Poetry Quotes & Prose

Books

Prescribed reading

Some of these bring the science of closeness and desire to everyday life, and some are novels that lay bare the tenderness and the terror of true intimacy. Non-fiction and fiction together, they share one quiet understanding: that real closeness asks us to be seen, and that learning to let it in is some of the bravest work we ever do.

Come As You Are

Emily Nagoski · 2015

Nagoski’s warm, science-based guide transformed how many people understand desire, intimacy and their own bodies. Reassuring and myth-busting, it helps you feel more at ease with yourself, which is where closeness with others truly begins. A liberating, kind read for anyone wanting a healthier, happier relationship with intimacy.

Wired for Love

Stan Tatkin · 2011

Tatkin draws on the science of attachment and the brain to show how couples can build a secure, deeply connected bond. Practical and insightful, it turns the mysteries of closeness into something you can actually understand and practise. A genuinely useful read for anyone who wants to love, and be loved, more securely.

Call Me by Your Name

André Aciman · 2007

Aciman’s luminous novel of first love in an Italian summer is one of the most intensely intimate books ever written, aching with longing, tenderness and the terror of being known. Sensuous and unforgettable, it captures intimacy at its most vivid. A gorgeous, immersive read for anyone who remembers what it is to be wholly opened by another.

On Chesil Beach

Ian McEwan · 2007

McEwan’s exquisite short novel turns on a single night, and the way fear and silence can quietly destroy the closeness two people long for. Precise and devastating, it shows how much intimacy depends on the courage to speak. A moving, cautionary read about how easily, and how tragically, we can fail to let each other in.

The Bridges of Madison County

Robert James Waller · 1992

Waller’s beloved novel distils a lifetime’s intimacy into four brief days, as two people find in each other a closeness that changes everything. Tender and bittersweet, it captures how profoundly, and how quickly, one soul can truly meet another. A deeply romantic read about the rare, transforming power of being fully known.

Maurice

E. M. Forster · 1971

Written decades before it could be published, Forster’s tender novel follows a young man’s search for honest love and intimacy in a world that forbids it. Brave and deeply humane, it is a moving portrait of the longing to love openly and be known. A quietly radical read about the courage intimacy sometimes demands.

Poems about intimacy

For letting someone close

from “The Passionate Shepherd to His Love”

Christopher Marlowe, 1599

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
…And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me, and be my love.

Marlowe’s famous invitation is intimacy at its most hopeful and open-hearted: a simple, tender offer to share a whole life and all its small pleasures. It is love as an open hand. A lovely poem for the sweetness of inviting someone in, and dreaming together of a shared and gentle life.

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from “A Woman to Her Lover”

Christina Walsh, c.1900

I who am mistress of myself…
if you ask of me
That I shall be your comrade, friend, and mate,
To live and work, to love and die with you,
That so together we may know the purity
And height of passion, joy and sorrow,
Then O husband, I am yours forever.

Walsh rejects the lover who wants a servant or a goddess, and offers herself only to one who wants an equal, a true comrade in living and loving. It is a bracing, beautiful vision of intimacy as partnership between equals. A powerful poem for anyone who believes real closeness is built on respect, not possession.

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from “First Love”

John Clare, c.1842

I ne’er was struck before that hour
With love so sudden and so sweet.
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete.
…My face turned pale as deadly pale,
My legs refused to walk away.

Clare captures the overwhelming, almost frightening rush of first love: the way it floods and undoes us, stealing the heart before we can defend it. It is intimacy’s sudden, dizzying beginning. A vivid, tender poem for anyone who remembers being wholly swept away by another for the very first time.

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Quotes & Prose

Quotes about intimacy to keep

Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable.

Rollo May

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Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.

Amy Bloom

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There’s nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.

Brad Meltzer

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The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

Helen Keller

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To be truly known by another, flaws and all, and still be held close, is one of the bravest and most healing things we ever risk.

Georgia Clare

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From Georgia

Opening the heart

Two gentle practices for the inner work intimacy asks of us, one for softening your own inner voice, and one for honouring your needs and holding kind boundaries. And an essay on opening your heart again after it has been hurt.

Healing Self-Talk: A Self-Love Meditation

Guided meditation by Georgia Clare

A tender practice for softening a harsh inner voice into a kinder one, because learning to be gentle with yourself is where the capacity for closeness begins.

Listen Now For Free

Boundaries and Self-Respect: Honouring Your Needs

Guided meditation by Georgia Clare

A guided practice for honouring your own needs and holding kind, clear boundaries, the quiet groundwork that lets real closeness feel safe.

Listen Now For Free

Open Your Heart After Heartbreak

Personal essay by Georgia Clare · The Library

On finding the courage to let someone close again once you have been hurt, and trusting yourself to love with an open heart.

Read the Essay →

The Inner Peace Toolkit

Digital Self-Care Toolkit · Georgia Clare

2 guided meditations, an Inner Peace Journal, an affirmations eBook, 10 printable affirmation prints and 10 calming phone wallpapers — small daily practices to come back to whenever you need to slow down and reconnect with yourself.

Explore the Toolkit →

Questions people ask

Reading for Intimacy

Where should I start?

Start with Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, a warm, science-based guide to intimacy and desire that has helped countless people feel more at ease with themselves and closer to others. And if you would rather a story, Call Me by Your Name is one of the most intensely intimate novels ever written. The poems below are about the tender courage of letting someone close.

What can I read about intimacy?

Books that explore closeness in all its forms. Wired for Love brings the science of secure connection to everyday relationships, while novels like On Chesil Beach and The Bridges of Madison County lay bare the tenderness, and the terror, of true intimacy. Or begin with the poems and the lines to keep further down the page. Real intimacy asks us to be seen, and that is braver than it sounds.

Which quotes about intimacy are worth keeping?

Quotes worth keeping include “To be fully seen by somebody, and be loved anyhow, this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” (Elizabeth Gilbert), “Intimacy is not who you let touch you; it is who you let close.” and “Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable.” (Rollo May). You will find these and more in the quotes section above.

Can reading really help me with intimacy?

It genuinely can. Intimacy asks us to be truly seen, and to let ourselves be known, which is one of the most vulnerable things a person can do. Reading helps in two ways: the wise books teach us how closeness actually works, and the great novels let us feel our way into it safely, again and again. Both quietly build the courage it takes to let someone in.

Intimacy

Prescribed reading

For letting someone close

Quotes about intimacy to keep

Opening the heart

Reading for Intimacy

Where should I start?

What can I read about intimacy?

Which quotes about intimacy are worth keeping?

Can reading really help me with intimacy?

More prescriptions await.